Look, I get it. You've seen the Instagram quotes. You've watched the YouTube videos about Marcus Aurelius. Maybe you even bought Meditations and made it through like... three pages before realizing it's kind of a dense read when you're just trying to figure out how to not freak out about your work deadline.
Here's the good news: You don't need to become a philosophy professor. You don't need to read every stoic text ever written. You just need to actually understand and apply five core concepts.
These aren't the "sexiest" concepts. They won't make great Instagram quotes. But they're the ones that will actually make your life better. Let's dive in.
1. The Dichotomy of Control
The Concept: Some things are in your control, most things aren't. Stop wasting energy on shit you can't change.
This is THE fundamental stoic idea. Epictetus said it best: "Some things are up to us and some things are not up to us." Revolutionary? No. Life-changing? Absolutely.
What's in your control:
- Your thoughts and judgments
- Your actions and effort
- How you respond to situations
- Your values and principles
What's NOT in your control:
- Other people's opinions
- The past or future
- Natural events (weather, traffic, etc.)
- Pretty much everything else
How to apply it: Next time you're stressed, ask yourself: "Can I control this?" If yes, make a plan and take action. If no, accept it and move on. Sounds simple because it is. Doing it consistently is the hard part.
2. Amor Fati (Love Your Fate)
The Concept: Don't just accept what happens to you—embrace it. Love it, even.
This one sounds weird at first. "Love my fate? Bro, I just got laid off and my car broke down." Yeah, I hear you. But stay with me.
Amor Fati isn't about being a masochist who enjoys suffering. It's about recognizing that everything that happens to you—good and bad—is an opportunity to practice virtue and become better.
Got laid off? That's an opportunity to find something better or start that side project you've been putting off. Car broke down? Time to learn basic mechanics or appreciate public transit (okay, that one's a stretch).
How to apply it: When something bad happens, resist the urge to complain or play victim. Instead, ask: "What can I learn from this?" or "How can I use this?" Turn obstacles into fuel.
3. Memento Mori (Remember You Will Die)
The Concept: You're going to die. Everyone you know is going to die. Use that fact to live better.
Sounds morbid as hell, right? But thinking about death is actually one of the most practical tools for living well. When you remember that your time is limited, you stop wasting it on bullshit.
That argument with your friend? Probably not worth holding a grudge if you only have X years left. That job you hate? Maybe it's time to take the risk and try something else. That workout you're skipping? Your body won't be able to do it forever.
How to apply it: Start your day by acknowledging that you could die today. Not to be depressing, but to create urgency. What matters? Do that. What doesn't? Stop doing it.
4. Premeditatio Malorum (Negative Visualization)
The Concept: Imagine the worst-case scenario. Prepare for it. Then appreciate when it doesn't happen.
Modern "positive thinking" culture tells you to only visualize success. The stoics said: fuck that, visualize failure too. Not to be pessimistic, but to be prepared.
Imagine losing your job. What would you do? Having that plan in place makes you less anxious about actually losing it. Imagine your relationship ending. How would you handle it? Just thinking it through makes you more resilient.
Plus, when you regularly imagine losing the things you have, you appreciate them more when they're still there.
How to apply it: Once a week, pick something you value (job, relationship, health) and imagine losing it. Then make a plan for how you'd handle it. You'll feel more prepared and less anxious.
5. Focus on Process, Not Outcomes
The Concept: You can't control results. You can only control your effort and approach.
You can train perfectly for a marathon and still get injured. You can write an amazing book proposal and still get rejected. You can do everything right in a relationship and still get dumped.
Outcomes are partially out of your control (see #1). What you CAN control is showing up, putting in the work, and doing your best. That's where your focus should be.
The paradox? When you stop obsessing over outcomes and focus on process, you usually get better outcomes anyway. But even if you don't, you can't regret it because you gave your best effort.
How to apply it: Set process goals instead of outcome goals. Not "lose 20 pounds" but "work out 4x per week." Not "make $10k from my side hustle" but "spend 10 hours per week building it." You'll stress less and achieve more.
Putting It All Together
Here's the thing about stoicism: it's not complicated. Five concepts. That's it. The challenge isn't understanding it—it's actually doing it consistently.
Your action plan:
- When stressed, apply the dichotomy of control
- When shit goes wrong, practice amor fati
- When you're wasting time, remember memento mori
- When you're anxious, use negative visualization
- When you're obsessing over results, focus on process
That's it. You don't need to read all of Marcus Aurelius. You don't need to memorize Seneca. You just need to practice these five things until they become automatic.
Will you become a perfect stoic sage? Probably not. But you'll definitely become less of an anxious mess who freaks out over things they can't control. And that's a pretty good upgrade.
Further Reading
If you want to go deeper (and you should), here are the essential texts:
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius - The OG stoic journal
- Letters from a Stoic by Seneca - Practical wisdom in letter form
- The Enchiridion by Epictetus - Short and dense, the fundamentals
- A Guide to the Good Life by William Irvine - Modern interpretation for beginners
But honestly? Master these five concepts first. Reading more books won't help if you're not applying the basics.
Now go practice. And remember: you're going to die someday, so stop putting it off.